Hey Brididgydidge, my adopted sister. I know Georgia was joking when she put you up for adoption in exchange for Jack (crazy) but I sure wasn't. I was so desperate for a little baby sister and Georgia had 2! I've always been jealous of your family, you guys are so happy (plus, the whole awesomeness red hair thing is ju...st grouse). When I lost you I lost a part of myself and I haven't been able to get it back. I don't think I ever will and that makes me sad.

I've got a theory that people who die young always know that they're going to die young, and that's why they're always awesome. Only good people seem to die. No one dies and you think "man that guy was a real cock". You are and always will be the most honest and real person I know.I still don't believe you're gone, bec...ause you're right with me every single day. Thanks for looking out for all of us down here on Earth, because God knows we need it without you to guide us.I love you. My little adopted sister. I promise to look after the ones left behind.

P.sss I ate all the yellow m&ms.

...

I messaged Georgia and told her I'm thinking of her and her family today. She messaged back saying "thanks heaps". I'm so happy we're talking again, she lives just around the corner from me. She's looking really thin and sick, and she said she's been to the doctors about it.

I cried a LOT last night and couldn't get to sleep. I could feel Bridget's presence with me and that made me feel a lot better.

I'm going to get a heart tattoo behind my ear. And it's not gunna hurt.

Stressful times. Working 3 jobs now in a matter of fucking days! It's kinda awesome though, even though on their own they're pretty average jobs.

Maccas is number 1 and highest paying. Pros- I already know what I'm doing and feel a sense of leadership there- I see management in the future.
Cons- It's McDonalds and it's degrading.

Bakers Delight is number 2 and lowest paying. I really don't mind the pay since the work is so easy, but who knows? I haven't worked there long and I may fucking hate it within a week. Props to the 3 months probationary, amirite?

3rd and most wonderful of my 3 jobs is at Curves. It's very exciting and a totally new opportunity for me. I'm a fitness instructor! I know. It's really not me but I hope that I can conform to the role since it just seems like so much fun.

CONS OF HAVING 3 JOBS
This will be, at the least, 46 hours a week. I'm really not so good right now in ways of depression and feeling tired all the time. I hope that earning money and becoming more independent will help and everything, but it's really getting to a point where I need some anti-ds. So much anxiety right now! FOR NO REASON. I'll be driving *near* the town where I grew up and my chest will tighten. It's not like I've had any kind of childhood fuckup to the extremes? Fucking weird. Anyways. I'll go to the doctors.

Shuddup. I WILL.

Why Do You Foresake Me?

I had the most vivid dream last night. I was pregnant, but not heavily pregnant. Enough for people to notice. Instead of having a nice bump I was just kind of ugly and fat, but none the less I was thrilled. I was pregnant at the same time as a friend, maybe a sister, I'm not sure. We were close. It might have been my cousin. She asked me, when I come back to Australia, whether I can please save her. I said yes.

So I've not been up long and I'm worried about my cousin. And upset to find I'm not pregnant.

I'm going to have a shower.