Stressful times. Working 3 jobs now in a matter of fucking days! It's kinda awesome though, even though on their own they're pretty average jobs.

Maccas is number 1 and highest paying. Pros- I already know what I'm doing and feel a sense of leadership there- I see management in the future.
Cons- It's McDonalds and it's degrading.

Bakers Delight is number 2 and lowest paying. I really don't mind the pay since the work is so easy, but who knows? I haven't worked there long and I may fucking hate it within a week. Props to the 3 months probationary, amirite?

3rd and most wonderful of my 3 jobs is at Curves. It's very exciting and a totally new opportunity for me. I'm a fitness instructor! I know. It's really not me but I hope that I can conform to the role since it just seems like so much fun.

CONS OF HAVING 3 JOBS
This will be, at the least, 46 hours a week. I'm really not so good right now in ways of depression and feeling tired all the time. I hope that earning money and becoming more independent will help and everything, but it's really getting to a point where I need some anti-ds. So much anxiety right now! FOR NO REASON. I'll be driving *near* the town where I grew up and my chest will tighten. It's not like I've had any kind of childhood fuckup to the extremes? Fucking weird. Anyways. I'll go to the doctors.

Shuddup. I WILL.

Exercise.

Everyone talks about how this act of "exercise" creates some kind of invigoration and releases endorphins, making you feel more energetic and less depressed.

Well, I don't feel it. It may be the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but shit. I just feel FUCKED after I exercise. My depression has spiraled in the past couple of weeks, when I've been going to the gym more. I've cried at work twice in 2 weeks because of stress.

I don't think the exercise thing is working on me.

The problem might be that I work too hard at it? My heart rate gets up to 29 (in 10 seconds I think) and the instructor tells me to settle down. If I do less, I feel lazy. There's 80yos there working their butts off and I'm supposed to be settling down, it doesn't sound right.

So I have a fast heart rate maybe, is there something I can do about that?

I'm not losing any weight, but I am feeling skinnier so I don't want to leave it just yet. I just don't want to be tired anymore.

'Night

Cosy

I'm now one of those people that get up at 4:30am and get to work at 5:30am. I'm one of the morning people and I am tired. But I'm not grumpy tired, which is odd. I'm just kind of cosy tired in a comfortable kind of "I could go to sleep right now with a smile on my face" way.

Everyone at work is complaining that they're not getting enough hours... And I don't want to bitch in front of them about OMG 6 DAYS IN A ROW?? Am I a fucking slave now? So... So so tired. SO TIRED!

But comfy.

But also very tired.