New Years Resolutions:

• Lose weight (of course)
• Earn lotsa bux
• Go to Las Vegas
• Go to Singapore
• Move out
• Be sucessful

Hey Brididgydidge, my adopted sister. I know Georgia was joking when she put you up for adoption in exchange for Jack (crazy) but I sure wasn't. I was so desperate for a little baby sister and Georgia had 2! I've always been jealous of your family, you guys are so happy (plus, the whole awesomeness red hair thing is ju...st grouse). When I lost you I lost a part of myself and I haven't been able to get it back. I don't think I ever will and that makes me sad.

I've got a theory that people who die young always know that they're going to die young, and that's why they're always awesome. Only good people seem to die. No one dies and you think "man that guy was a real cock". You are and always will be the most honest and real person I know.I still don't believe you're gone, bec...ause you're right with me every single day. Thanks for looking out for all of us down here on Earth, because God knows we need it without you to guide us.I love you. My little adopted sister. I promise to look after the ones left behind.

P.sss I ate all the yellow m&ms.

...

I messaged Georgia and told her I'm thinking of her and her family today. She messaged back saying "thanks heaps". I'm so happy we're talking again, she lives just around the corner from me. She's looking really thin and sick, and she said she's been to the doctors about it.

I cried a LOT last night and couldn't get to sleep. I could feel Bridget's presence with me and that made me feel a lot better.

I'm going to get a heart tattoo behind my ear. And it's not gunna hurt.

Merry Christmas. I got paid Christmas Eve and was in a mad frenzy of buying gifts. I think I prolly spent too much...

I was supposed to work at the bakery that day but I got my period the day before and couldn't think of standing up for too long, my hips are so out of whack. I'm going to the gyno soon to discuss the IUD. I've heard some awesome things (read: Desci said it's good) but Googling it has told me some bad things about weight gain, depression and heavier bleeding. I've learnt from experience that anything that's going to affect any of those 3 things is wholy not worth me going to the trouble of getting the medication. I'm already struggling with my weight, sanity and bleeding.

Sex without worrying, though, would be lovely.

Felix met my family and it was all sweet. Him and dad were civil and it was an all-round *alright* day. We went to sleep at about 3pm and woke up at maybe 8pm, so our sleeping pattern is throughly fucked up. I see a Christmas tridition in the making.

I'm thinking of dropping McDonalds work. It's just degrading for someone of my age, I know I'm not old but I might aswel be a grandmother for all the kids I work with. Bakers Delight has much nicer people and you get free stuff sometimes (last night I bought home 18 chocolate scones. Dead).

---

Christmas is just around the corner and I have literally bought no gifts. I *think* I'm getting paid on Christmas Eve but if not this will be an imaginary Christmas this year. I've just had no money since we got back into the country and it fucking sucks. Mum said I don't have to pay her all the money I owe her at once (there would be no point because I'd only have to borrow more off her). She's even wanting to help us get a flat in town. She's being very helpful in some ways, but very very nerveish in other ways.

Felix is still unemployed and it's really getting me down. I know he's trying but it seems like he's lost it now. After applying for 50million jobs I can certinely understand that, too. It's just that he's not applying for shit-kicker jobs like I am. It really makes me a little bit mad thinking that I'm working 3 dead-end jobs while he's still applying for managment.

I'm on his computer right now. Maybe I'll fill out a KFC application. Would that be so wrong?

P.S I cut all my hair off with theatre scissors I found in the bathroom. I mean really fucking hacked it. It looks so sex. I love it long time.

Much happier in the hair department.

Stressful times. Working 3 jobs now in a matter of fucking days! It's kinda awesome though, even though on their own they're pretty average jobs.

Maccas is number 1 and highest paying. Pros- I already know what I'm doing and feel a sense of leadership there- I see management in the future.
Cons- It's McDonalds and it's degrading.

Bakers Delight is number 2 and lowest paying. I really don't mind the pay since the work is so easy, but who knows? I haven't worked there long and I may fucking hate it within a week. Props to the 3 months probationary, amirite?

3rd and most wonderful of my 3 jobs is at Curves. It's very exciting and a totally new opportunity for me. I'm a fitness instructor! I know. It's really not me but I hope that I can conform to the role since it just seems like so much fun.

CONS OF HAVING 3 JOBS
This will be, at the least, 46 hours a week. I'm really not so good right now in ways of depression and feeling tired all the time. I hope that earning money and becoming more independent will help and everything, but it's really getting to a point where I need some anti-ds. So much anxiety right now! FOR NO REASON. I'll be driving *near* the town where I grew up and my chest will tighten. It's not like I've had any kind of childhood fuckup to the extremes? Fucking weird. Anyways. I'll go to the doctors.

Shuddup. I WILL.

Depression. It's high since yesterday I got a perm which looks like this:

I just... I can't look at it. I can't go outside. I hate it and it's awful. It was supposed to be curly and nice and long and beautiful but instead it's frizz.

All of my entire hair is ruined and I can't believe it. What did I do? I called my work and asked when I'm next working and they said not until after the new year since they closed the resaurant. Were they going to tell me? I don't think so. So now I work at McDonalds and a bakery part time. 2 jobs and Felix still doesn't have one.

I know I'm ranting, but could anything else possibly go wrong? FML.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOPVRJB1-9c

Coming to terms with my sexuality I realised that I'm soooo bisexual that it's just unbearable.

I don't think I'd be able to have enough IRL confidence to have sex with a *real* woman. I've only ever had sex with one *real* man. And plus the only reason I have enough confidence to have sex with him is because I've known him since I was 13 and he IS the male version of me.

But fo reals, girls are just too varied. I don't want to brag but I have a *lovely* vagina. It's so normal. Perfectional in a vadge. If I was going to have sex with a lady I'd be worried about all the dangly bits or something is going to be bigger/smaller than I thought.

But at the same time that's kind of exciting.

Gah I don't know! I told Felix and he's not what you'd expect from a guy who just learnt that his girlfriend is bi... He's kind of worried that I'll cheat on him, but I never would. Not without him watching. I wouldn't want a 3some because I wouldn't want anyone to touch MY Felix.

I wouldn't say bicurious because I have been bicurious all my life... I'm most definially bisexual. No doubt.

Blah.