Oh HAI!?

Ruby Gloom is the cutest show ever! It's totally emo and stuff but that doesn't make me stop loving it.

Anyway, I'm moving home on the 8th of December. Felix is staying here for Christmas with his family, so we'll be apart for 2 weeks. I was super upset about it until I watched that reality show 30 Days where the Supersize Me dude does random things for 30 days. Him and his wife are okay being away from each other that long and he's in danger of being shanked and stuff, so I think we should suck it up.

Problem is that this was going to be our first ever Christmas together and I'm gutted it's not going to turn out. It just seems like this is the beginning of a slippery slope. Growing up in different countries means that someone is always going to be homesick and someone is going to be fine. Hopefully in Melbourne it will be different because it's neither one of our homes.

I needed to be home for Christmas though. My brother is only 14 and since our parents separated I feel like I'm the only secure person in his life. Last Christmas sucked nuts and the only thing consistent is that we were together the whole time. I didn't want to abandon him with my parents being such cunts to each other. Does a 14yo really have to witness that?

He broke his shoulder and my parents even faught infront of the doctors. I feel so guilty for leaving him.

Moving Home!

Yay! Eventually, anyway. I just can't wait though.

I think we've roped Felix's friend K into coming with us to Australia, which means less of a monetary burden on us. Although it makes some things difficult (we buy a sofa- do we split it in thirds?) the pros outweigh the cons.

I've always said that I don't want to live with roomates, but K is cool. He's my babysitter when Felix doesn't want to look after his baby (when I have one).

Speaking of babies, apparently I'm doing a lot of harm to myself because I'm not on any drugs for my endometriosis. The gynecologist said that every time I get my period it's getting worse and worse, until it turns into something massive. This just pisses me off because I actually *like* having my period so that I have an excuse to have a rest. I don't care if that's sick, that's the way I likes it.

Also the drugs make me so fat and I'm just not willing to give up my body so that I can feel less like a woman.

Why Do You Foresake Me?

I had the most vivid dream last night. I was pregnant, but not heavily pregnant. Enough for people to notice. Instead of having a nice bump I was just kind of ugly and fat, but none the less I was thrilled. I was pregnant at the same time as a friend, maybe a sister, I'm not sure. We were close. It might have been my cousin. She asked me, when I come back to Australia, whether I can please save her. I said yes.

So I've not been up long and I'm worried about my cousin. And upset to find I'm not pregnant.

I'm going to have a shower.

Mute

I don't really have much to report other than everyone keeps commenting on what a good job the *hairdresser* did on my fringe. Fuck yeah. Maybe I should quit my dream of film making and become a hairdresser.

Yeah. Right.

Lazy

I'm so lazy, I cut my own hair. Really it wasn't a full hair-cut. I only cut my fringe. It had to do with a lack of money but it was mostly me being too lazy to make an appointment.

I'm so lazy that I can't be bothered canceling my gym membership. It's also something to do with not being in town when the fucking gym opens, but mostly the fact that I'm scared of them saying "but Gabriella, you're still fat." I know they're not going to say that, but I can hear them thinking it. I need to cancel it though because I start work at 6am, finish at 1:30pm. And I love it. It just means that I can't get to the gym because it closes for 4 hours during the day, the only time of the day I'm able to get there. Why the fuck would it close in the first place? Mother fuckers. They're the lazy ones.

The new Kate Miller-Heidke album comes out tomorrow. Here's a listen:

http://www.nova100.com.au/site/new_music/kate_miller_heidke.aspx

I'm so lazy I can't be bothered making this blog entry make sence.

I took a photo of my fringe. I think I did a pretty damn good job, but I couldn't get myself to look steamy and hawt in the photo so I ditched it.

I'm so lazy I can't be bothered going to the doctors to get my Provera perscription filled so as to not get my period and almost die every time. I don't feel like a woman if I don't get my period. It's said and done. I like getting my period despite the pain because I like order and organisation and I don't feel complete if I don't bleed half to death every 28 days. But now I'm thinking that I might actually be making myself sick and my endometriosis worse if I keep getting my period.

Typical Australian attitude: I'll be 'right.

Neglectful

It hasn't been a month, but we're not far from it.

Hello!

It's not really that I've been busy, it's more that I've been tired. Working 5 days on, 2 days off is just too much for my whinging little body to handle! This is my pretend-Sunday, so it's almost over. On the bright side- on my pretend Monday I don't have to start until 3pm. Hooray! Imagine if that was true for everyone? What a happy humanity this world would have?

Felix and I should be moving to Melbourne within the next 30ish days, if everything goes to plan. Friday he's going into his old job and is going to ask if he can work for a month. We're fairly confident that they'll let him. The only thing that has stopped him going in before now is that I'm deathly scared of this house and I can't imagine being on my own here. I'm tearing up a little thinking about it.

Another bright side- I get to sleep with a baseball bat next to the bed. Awesome.

I'm felling so trapped in NZ now. As much as I love it, I miss my family. Not only that- I miss my country. I never ever ever thought I'd say that. Australia is very *very* wankery. I miss the wankerism.

Felix doesn't want to leave here, and we're going to be coming back to NZ for Christmas and in March. I just can't live here anymore. This was supposed to be a 6 month adventure at the most and it's just too much for me now. I can't keep going to work every single fucking day without there being any let up.

I'm not looking forward to going home to my parental situation though. They both tell me things that they hate about each other. I wish they would shut the fuck up and grow up!

And their daughter shouldn't have to tell them that.