Hooray!

Hooray for December!

Hooray for being home soon!

Hooray for Christmas!

Hooray for me feeling sick as a dog...

Perhaps it's all in my mind though. I have 2 more shifts at work and I just really really don't want to go. I just want it to be over already! Coupled with my narcissistic "illness" I've got the sorest feet! They've never been so sore! I've been in tears over it and I can't sleep at night. I beg to be sent home from work but they just won't let me.

Is that illegal? I can't wait to be home in my own country where I know when things are illegal or not.

Speaking of illegal, I was thinking of becoming a surrogate mother. Perfect for me, since I get to be pregnant without the responsibility of a child! Then I realised that coupled with the fact that I would want the baby way too much by the end of the 9 months, it's illegal in Victoria.

Stink.

Random Question Time!

Do babies get really uncomfortable when they are full-term? There's one of those baby tracker devices on a friend's blog and it shows the baby through the months. The baby is looking kind of cramped at the moment. I wouldn't want to be in there, is what I think. But then I remember that I actually was in there and I survived.

Felix is thinking of staying in NZ longer than expected. A wonderful sentiment to wake up to.

Motherhood

I'm a very clucky person. A couple of years ago I decided that I wouldn't actively *try* to get pregnant unless I had a really good reason for bringing a human life into the world. I also decided that "I just want a baby" isn't enough.

But is it?

Why do people have children?

I've thought of a couple of scenarios. One, which is most common to me, is that there are so many motherly hormones running through their brain screaming "If I don't hold my own spawn in the next 9 months I will DIE". This, I suppose, is a natural instinct for young women. It comes back from the old days when you were *supposed* to be married with 3 children by the time you were my age.

Two is because they have issues. I don't think this one applies to me, but I assume some people have babies so that they have *something* to love. People who weren't hugged enough as children and don't have a loving partner might fall into this category. They want something that is entirely theirs so that they can smother it with all the love they desire and hope that they will unconditionally get it back.

Three is to trap somebody into a relationship with them. This one definitely doesn't apply to me (OR DOES IT??). I heard it on Dr Phil. This girl was with a guy who totally didn't want to marry her or anything, but when she got pregnant he respectfully asked her to marry her. This is such a wrong reason for wanting a child. The child is then merely a fragment holding two people together. It is not the center of their worlds. It is the keeper.

So, out of those three, there is no great a holy explanation for wanting to have a child. What other legitimate reasons are there? I don't want to be in my late 30s before I realise what the perfect reason for having a child is.

Maybe the reason to have a child is that you have found the person you love and want to put your DNA with his and create something wonderful. That seems like an okay reason to me.

Either way there's no fucking way in hell they're putting a big motherfucking needle in my SPINE! Natural for me.