Abandonment Issues

If you have them, please stop reading my blog.

So, things that have happened. I've come home sans Felix. I've got an imaginary polyp in my nose. I've applied for 40 different jobs only to be disappointed.

Okay, imaginary polyp.

I went to the doctors today about a polyp that has come back after a year. It's the same thing that I had diagnosed last year that never fully went away, but it's inflammed again and it's very sore. It's giving me some shocking hayfever symptoms and my nose is swollen.

He can't *see* it.

I can fucking see it with my naked eye! what the fuck is wrong with him? He was using a nose-looking-into-machine and I said to him that he's touching it and is looking past it. Doesn't listen.

Arrogant arsehole. He also jabbed me with cervical cancer vaccine. It hurt.

So tired and sick and angry. Felix is coming back on the 30th. I hope I get a job soon.

Mistake...

I tried something out with food... I tried to convince myself it was nice through tears of pain due to the eating of this thing.

I regret it now. Gut malfunction.

Things I'm looking forward to, in bullet point form.

• Christmas with my family, even though it's broken. I just can't wait to see them.
• Giving all the wonderful presents I brought to everyone. I'm a big presents person. Not for me - I love buying them for everyone.
• Going camping with my dad and my brother. I can't wait to relax and read a nice book by the river.
• hanging out with old friends and catching up.
• Going to Sydney with my mum to see all of my cousins. Two of whom are pregnant.
  
• Playing Singstar with my best friend J
• Working on Sunday's at my best friend J's business (she gave me a job, THAT'S a friend.)
• Applying for new and exciting jobs
• Meeting new friends at new and exciting jobs
• Living with Felix and K in our OWN house with our OWN things doing our OWN thing
• Seeing my grandma and giving her the magnet I got her in Dubai, that's her thing.
• Eating Mr Whippy icecreams in the sun
• Going swimming in the pool with my brother
• Seeing my brother
• Seeing my brother play sport
• Seeing my brother's new girlfriend
• Seeing my brother
• Seeing my brother
• Seeing my brother (I miss him)
• Wearing my cool new bathing suit which is teh sex
• Getting drunk with my mum... Most nights
• Sitting in the AC lounge eating icy poles and watching trash TV
• Seeing everyone
  

Hooray!

Hooray for December!

Hooray for being home soon!

Hooray for Christmas!

Hooray for me feeling sick as a dog...

Perhaps it's all in my mind though. I have 2 more shifts at work and I just really really don't want to go. I just want it to be over already! Coupled with my narcissistic "illness" I've got the sorest feet! They've never been so sore! I've been in tears over it and I can't sleep at night. I beg to be sent home from work but they just won't let me.

Is that illegal? I can't wait to be home in my own country where I know when things are illegal or not.

Speaking of illegal, I was thinking of becoming a surrogate mother. Perfect for me, since I get to be pregnant without the responsibility of a child! Then I realised that coupled with the fact that I would want the baby way too much by the end of the 9 months, it's illegal in Victoria.

Stink.