She is a cruel, cruel mistress.
Rejected from another job. What *don't* I have? Is that too hard a question? I'm qualified, I'm putting myself out there. I don't like being this vulnerable. Not one bit.
I guess it's another late night of drinking and listening to songs which remind me of an easier time. Yayz.
Though at the time they didn't seem easy. I'm thinking that maybe I'm just an attention-seeking whore who needs something to wollow about at all times.
Meh. I love unemployment. I just wish I had enough money to enjoy it to it's fullest.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Argh
I hate Felix for doing this to me. I'm having so much trouble typing right now it's crazy. It's like I've never even used a keyboard.
Anyway, to why I hate Felix.
He messed up my body clock. I can't even really explain it without drawing you a diagram, but then again I can't be fucked drawing you a diagram. So here I go. Monday the 26th of May I didn't go to sleep until about 8am from probably 6pm. And then Monday night I stayed up until 12pm, Tuesday. Then I woke up at 4pm when Felix and I went to his grandparents house for dinner (with a FUCKING shocking headache, I might add). So when we came home at say, 7pm I went to sleep and woke up at 12 midnight. It's now Wednesday at 9.21am and I haven't slept...
Yet.
Is that not crazy to you (you, as in the blogosphere)? Who the fuck does that? Then, when I try to go to sleep at about 3am or so, I go nuts. I get all panicy and crazy. This house scares the fucking shit out of me is why. I get an awful vibe from this house. It's a freaky house. It's cold and it's not *home* I suppose. It always feels like someone is right behind me and they're going to grab me.
So then I don't sleep until 12pm the next day and fuck myself right up by waking up while it's dark and thinking it's the next morning.
I can't keep doing this. I'm so sick. I've had a full on headache from a couple of days ago, when all of this started. And it probably all started when the future mother in law left. It was like we were a couple of kids and we wanted to stay up allllll night just because we could. Now look what we've done. We're all kinds of fucked up now.
And I can't go downstairs or else I'll clean.
I just came back from a half hour walk around the block. There's lots of hills here, so that was hard. It's about 4 degrees c and I'm in a singlet now. Totally fucked, but on the plus side it's really beautiful.
So tonight I'm going to take a couple of myrsendol and hop into bed at about 12 midnight. I told Felix he needs to stay up to protect me from the Boogeyman. Fuck this house is scary. I think it will help me sleep if he's awake, and anyway, he hates going to bed "early".
On that note, there's some washing that needs to be done. Kthxbai
Anyway, to why I hate Felix.
He messed up my body clock. I can't even really explain it without drawing you a diagram, but then again I can't be fucked drawing you a diagram. So here I go. Monday the 26th of May I didn't go to sleep until about 8am from probably 6pm. And then Monday night I stayed up until 12pm, Tuesday. Then I woke up at 4pm when Felix and I went to his grandparents house for dinner (with a FUCKING shocking headache, I might add). So when we came home at say, 7pm I went to sleep and woke up at 12 midnight. It's now Wednesday at 9.21am and I haven't slept...
Yet.
Is that not crazy to you (you, as in the blogosphere)? Who the fuck does that? Then, when I try to go to sleep at about 3am or so, I go nuts. I get all panicy and crazy. This house scares the fucking shit out of me is why. I get an awful vibe from this house. It's a freaky house. It's cold and it's not *home* I suppose. It always feels like someone is right behind me and they're going to grab me.
So then I don't sleep until 12pm the next day and fuck myself right up by waking up while it's dark and thinking it's the next morning.
I can't keep doing this. I'm so sick. I've had a full on headache from a couple of days ago, when all of this started. And it probably all started when the future mother in law left. It was like we were a couple of kids and we wanted to stay up allllll night just because we could. Now look what we've done. We're all kinds of fucked up now.
And I can't go downstairs or else I'll clean.
I just came back from a half hour walk around the block. There's lots of hills here, so that was hard. It's about 4 degrees c and I'm in a singlet now. Totally fucked, but on the plus side it's really beautiful.
So tonight I'm going to take a couple of myrsendol and hop into bed at about 12 midnight. I told Felix he needs to stay up to protect me from the Boogeyman. Fuck this house is scary. I think it will help me sleep if he's awake, and anyway, he hates going to bed "early".
On that note, there's some washing that needs to be done. Kthxbai
Monday, May 26, 2008
Why not make a second post, Gab?
Ugh. Finally I can get down to this project. It's been a long, stressful and sad couple of weeks and it's all but over. Felix and I have only just gotten to be on our own after so long. You see, we've moved back to his home town because his Mum is going to stay with his Dad for 6 months. Confusing, much? I know, but I'm not into elaboration right now.
So. She's left. We're alone. I suppose I had placed so much on this time and I've been kind of let down. I just want my *own* house. Not my parents house, my house. My house which I own. I want to be able to hang up my pictures and if a long weekend is coming up, I want to be able to say "hey, I would like to paint that wall purple" and the only person I have to convince is Felix.
Felix is not a cat. Felix is my fioncee. He likes cats.
In other news, I need my eyebrows waxed and my haircut. I can't afford these things because I have been unemployed for over a month and the money is dwindelling. What did I expect? I suppose I'll just have to put my application in at McDonalds.
Again.
Maybe in another week. I like unemployment. Is that so wrong? I like having time to myself and be able to do what ever I want (as long as it is free, of course). Why is that looked down on so much in society?
Fucking Gen X.
So. She's left. We're alone. I suppose I had placed so much on this time and I've been kind of let down. I just want my *own* house. Not my parents house, my house. My house which I own. I want to be able to hang up my pictures and if a long weekend is coming up, I want to be able to say "hey, I would like to paint that wall purple" and the only person I have to convince is Felix.
Felix is not a cat. Felix is my fioncee. He likes cats.
In other news, I need my eyebrows waxed and my haircut. I can't afford these things because I have been unemployed for over a month and the money is dwindelling. What did I expect? I suppose I'll just have to put my application in at McDonalds.
Again.
Maybe in another week. I like unemployment. Is that so wrong? I like having time to myself and be able to do what ever I want (as long as it is free, of course). Why is that looked down on so much in society?
Fucking Gen X.
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